No
secret masters. No hidden lineages. No control games.
Let’s talk
about grooming.
In every
community, there are people who are hurting. Some are
grieving. Some are broke. Some are depressed, burned
out, or going through a major life shift. That is human. When people are
vulnerable, they look for meaning, help, or just decent people to talk to. That
is also human.
And wherever
there are vulnerable people, there are always people willing to test
boundaries.
This is not
about “woo” or religion. Grooming is not tied to spirituality at all. It is
tied to human behavior. It is about someone choosing to exploit another person
when their ability to resist is low. It can happen anywhere: churches, covens,
activist groups, businesses, book clubs, Discord servers, or what looks like a
friendship.
Grooming is
a slow process of testing boundaries and measuring vulnerability to gain
control. It rarely starts big. It begins with something small, like a late night message or a harmless secret. Each step is framed
as reasonable. Then the requests get bigger. The line moves a little, then a
little more, until you have given more than you ever thought you would.
The reason
people get caught in grooming is that it does not feel like abuse in the
beginning. It feels like friendship. It feels like mentorship. It feels like
someone finally sees you. Groomers are good at making you feel chosen and cared
for. That is how they hook people.
It often
sounds like this:
“If you
really trusted me, you would send me a picture.”
“Don’t share
this with others, you’re the only one ready.”
“I can help
you unlock your energy, but you have to trust me.”
“If you
doubt me, you’re blocking your own growth.”
“Most people
aren’t awake enough to understand this, but you are.”
A lot of
people turn to spirituality when life gets heavy. That is not weakness. That is
human. When people are hurting they want connection and a reason to keep going. But this is also the
moment when predators are watching. Someone searching for answers is someone
they can try to control. It does not matter what the paradigm is. The pattern
is the same.
The pattern
usually looks like this. First they spot
vulnerability: a grieving person, someone broke, someone posting about being
lost. Then they build rapport: fast flattery, sympathy, special attention. “You
are different.” “I understand you.” “You are ahead of the others.” Next come
the small boundary tests: a request to move to DMs, to keep something private,
to share something personal. Each yes tells them you will give more. Then the
demands escalate. They ask for money, photos, or loyalty. Each is framed as
proof of trust or devotion. They isolate you from others. “They don’t
understand your path.” “They are jealous.” Finally, they exploit you for
whatever they were after: sex, money, labor, or control.
Not
everybody shares the same ethics or ideals. Some people see pain and feel
compassion. Others see pain and see opportunity. Motives vary. Some want money.
Some want sexual access. Some want followers or attention. Some push people for
philosophical reasons. Some do it for entertainment. This happens everywhere
people gather. You do not have to figure out why someone is doing it. What
matters is the pattern.
It is not
always about organizations. Grooming does not always come with robes or titles.
Sometimes it looks like a friendship that keeps asking for more. It might start
with “You can tell me anything, I’m here.” Then it is “Let’s keep this
private.” Then “Send me a picture so I can read your energy.” Then “Your
friends don’t understand you, cut them off.” Same game, no title.
What
groomers say often falls into categories. Boundary
tests sound like: “If you really trusted me, you would send me a picture,” or
“I only teach this to people who are serious enough.” Flattery and isolation
sound like: “You are more advanced than the group,” or “Most of them are
asleep, but you are awake.” Escalations include: “Turn on your camera so I can
read your energy,” or “Send me money for the ritual materials.” Dependency
hooks sound like: “The universe led you to me for a reason,” or “If you quit
now, you will undo all your work.”
Examples are
everywhere. A grieving person posts about dreams of their mom. A groomer
messages: “I can help you contact her, but don’t tell anyone. You are special.”
A new member admits they are depressed. Groomer: “Your depression is awakening.
If you trust me, talk privately every day.” Someone posts they lost their job.
Groomer: “Spirit brought you here. Send me $50 and I will perform the ritual.
Don’t tell the group.” Even a book club can host grooming: “I will guide you
through the deeper meaning, but don’t share with the others. They are not
ready.”
There are
red flags that show up again and again. They push you
into private conversations. They frame secrecy as proof of trust. They flatter
you as special or chosen. They pressure you for fast replies or late night talks. Their requests creep bigger once you
comply. Their attention runs hot and cold depending on whether you give in.
You can push
back. Keep simple lines ready: “I prefer to keep conversations public.” “I
don’t share personal photos.” “I want to check with others before I decide.”
“I’m not comfortable keeping this secret.” “I need to slow this down.” Even
just “No.” If you already sent something, stop replying, screenshot everything,
tell someone you trust, review reporting options, and block if needed. You are
not the first. You are not alone.
If you see
grooming happening to someone else, you can help. Name the behavior: “That
sounds like pressure.” Signal that safety matters: “Let’s keep this on-thread so others can weigh in.” Offer support privately:
“I saw that, if you want a second opinion, I am here.” Do not pile on, but do
not stay silent either. Silence is the predator’s best tool.
Grooming
leaves people confused and ashamed. Many ask themselves how they could let it
happen. The answer is simple: because you are human, and someone engineered
your humanity into a funnel. Being groomed is not weakness. It means someone
deliberately tested you until you were cornered. The shame is not yours.
And here is
the part I do not want lost. There are people out there who genuinely want to
help. People who will not ask for your secrets, your money, or your silence.
People who will simply walk with you. This is not telling you to stop seeking
help or to never trust anyone. It is here to help you consider your own
vulnerability and to give you the power to judge where you are at and who you
are dealing with. Seeking help is human. Wanting connection is human. Predators
are human too. Knowing the difference is power.
No
secret masters. No hidden lineages. No control games.
Stay
grounded. Stay free.
United States
Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
The 988 Lifeline provides free,
24/7, confidential support for people in distress, prevention resources, and
crisis intervention. It connects callers to trained counselors.
Crisis Text Line
This service provides free, 24/7 mental health support
through text messaging. Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a trained crisis
counselor.
https://www.crisistextline.org
SAMHSA National Helpline
A free, confidential, 24/7 information service for
individuals and families facing mental health or substance use issues. Provides
referrals to local treatment.
https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline
Recovering From Religion
Offers support for people leaving religion, doubting faith,
or recovering from spiritual harm. Includes a helpline, peer groups, and
resources.
https://www.recoveringfromreligion.org
United Kingdom
Samaritans
Provides 24/7 confidential emotional support for people in
distress. Free to call at 116 123 within the UK and Ireland.
Victim Support
Offers free and confidential support to victims of crime in
England and Wales, regardless of whether the crime has been reported.
https://www.victimsupport.org.uk
The Survivors Trust
An umbrella organization for over 120 specialist services
across the UK that provide support for survivors of sexual violence and abuse.
https://www.thesurvivorstrust.org
Action on Spiritual Abuse
A peer-support network for individuals who have experienced
harm in spiritual or religious settings. Offers safeguarding and recovery
resources.
https://napac.org.uk/listing/action-on-spiritual-abuse
Safe Spaces
Provides independent support for survivors of abuse in
church-related contexts in England and Wales.
https://www.firstlight.org.uk/our-services/safe-spaces
Australia
1800RESPECT
The national sexual assault, domestic and family violence
counseling service. Available 24/7, free, and confidential.
https://www.1800respect.org.au
Olive Leaf Network Australia
Supports individuals recovering from coercive control and
high-demand religious or spiritual groups. Offers resources, advocacy, and
survivor networks.
Blue Knot Foundation
Provides support for adults who have experienced complex
trauma and abuse. Offers counseling and trauma-informed resources.
STARTTS
The NSW Service for the Treatment and Rehabilitation of
Torture and Trauma Survivors, providing specialist care for refugees and
survivors of trauma.
International / General
International Cultic Studies Association
A global organization providing education, research, and
recovery resources for people affected by cultic
groups and relationships.
Freedom of Mind Resource Center
Founded by Steven Hassan, this resource provides information
on the BITE model of mind control and strategies for recovery from cultic
influence.
https://freedomofmind.com/cult-mind-control/bite-model
People Leave Cults
A support and education hub for people leaving high-control
groups. Offers stories, resources, and tools for recovery.
https://www.peopleleavecults.com
Cult Education Institute
An archive of research and information on cults, abusive
groups, and movements. Provides news updates and educational material.
CAAGe (Campaign Against Adult
Grooming)
UK-based initiative raising awareness of adult grooming.
Provides survivor resources and promotes research and policy change.
https://www.caage.org/.../sources-of-mental-health...
Befrienders Worldwide
An international network of crisis helplines in over 30
countries offering emotional support to prevent suicide.
https://findahelpline.com/organizat.../befrienders-worldwide
#NoSecretMasters #TheGroomingGame #MagiciansAgainstPredators #SpiritualSovereignty #CultRecovery #CommunitySafety #BoundaryWork #EndGrooming